I’m not a quitter. When I believe in something, I stick with it, even when people tell me it can't be done. My mini-me is similar.
She happens to be so tenacious and daring it inspires and frightens me all at the same time! She’s also the reason I’ve chosen to #homeschool this year ... and the reason I’m scared to do so. (Pray for me.)
After one exasperated morning of trying to coerce her into participating, I finally asked God to highlight why I give up. I figured this would give me insight into my child, because it’s not like I stick with everything either. I mean, I quit on Grey’s Anatomy after they killed off McDreamy ... need I say more.
Well, God impressed two things upon me:
I quit when I lose interest.
I quit when I don’t see the value anymore.
Not surprisingly, my mini-me does the same thing: if she’s not interested, she disengages; if she can’t see the point, she's out.
Maybe your child is similar. Maybe she won't sit on the potty because she just doesn't care. Or perhaps you son doesn't do his chores because he likes things messy so what's the point?
Every parent struggles with creating "buy in". So the question remains:
How do we create brand loyalty with our kids?
We all know “because I said so” never works. It's like forcing a duct taped child to eat his broccoli. It doesn't cause loyalty. It causes resistance and rebellion.
That's because top-down approaches never work in sales. Marketing teams know this and therefore create strategies to convert sales into loyalty.
Brand loyalty within a family means that our kids believe what we're saying is true because they trust that we see their needs and will consistently deliver upon them.
In order to create loyalty, especially with our feisty children, we need to fine-tune our bottom line.
Therefore, every quarter ask yourself: What brand am I selling? What's my bottom line? What is the WHY behind my NO?
Remembering the answers to these questions will help you combat the "Whyyyyyys" and the "Noooooos", which is crucial to seeing dividends.
It's also important to remember that brand loyalty takes time. You don't just turn on the TV one day and become obsessed with McDreamy. You watch him week after week; and through this consistency learn that he is faithful to be dreamy each and every time! 🔥
Lest I digress...
Parents need to repeat their bottom line every single day, sometimes hourly. This is frustrating, of course, and sooooooo time consuming, but it teaches kids IN THE NOW what we're hoping they will do IN THE FUTURE.
I’ll use homeschooling as an example.
Our family’s bottom line is that we respect our teachers, we make mistakes, we ask for help, and we don’t give up.
Therefore, when my mini-me looks me in the eye, raises her hand and says “I don’t like this”, I do not push her chair over and throw crayons in her face. I acknowledge that she has disengaged and I HALT:
I ask myself, Is she Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired?
People can’t complete high-level tasks when they’re operating in one of these four categories. So teaching her IN THE NOW means I wait for her brain to recalibrate (with food or a nap or some social time) before I have her finish the task.
This says to her: "I SEE your need and can be TRUSTED to deliver upon it."
This is part one.
The second part is speaking your bottom line (re: teaching IN THE FUTURE), but we can't start here. We end here.
Once my child has calmed down, I put on my sales hat and give her my pitch.
I set expectations.
I explain consequences.
I reiterate why this is important.
I give her the road map to where she's going.
I do not take her attitude personally. I remember it's just business. (I'm working on this one. Almost everything with my mini-me feels personal!)
In the end, our children may have underdeveloped amygdalas which make them seem shortsighted and temperamental, but they still know we've got the best goods in town -- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).
They don't want these fruits because we “said so”; they want them because after years and years of hearing the same bottom line they've learned to trust our brand. They have moved beyond impulse buying to consuming the fruits of the spirit...on their own!
Man, what a glorious day this will be when it happens.
Until then, keep keepin' on, mama. May your faith (and coffee) be stronger than your mini-me. 💪
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